A Guide to Computer Language.

BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in "Our Son's computer costs quite a bit...".
BOOT: What your friends give you, because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.
BUS: How you get to the computershop, after you've sold your car to pay for an upgrade to your system.
BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also, what computer-companies do to you, after they get your name on their mailing-list.
CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer-users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards.
COPY: What kids have to do during school tests, because they spend too much time at the computer keyboard and not enough time studying.
CURSOR: What you become, because your computer won't do what you want it to do, as in "YOU #@$%!*@& COMPUTER!!!"
DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours straight (trying to download a long file from the local packet BBS...?).
DUMP: Where all your former hobbies end up shortly after you buy your first computer.
ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer shop "just to look..."
EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build onto your house to house your computer and all its peripherals.
FILE: What your secretary does to her nails at work now that the computer does all her work for her.
FLOPPY: The conditions of a computer-users stomach due to the lack of exercise and the steady diet of junk food (see "chips").
HARDWARE: Tools such as lawnmowers, rakes, brooms, etc. that you haven't laid a finger on since buying your computer.
IBM: The kind of missile your family and friends would like to drop onto your computer so you'll pay attention to them again.
MENU: What you'll never see again after buying your computer because you're too poor to eat out.
PROGRAMS: Those things you (and your family) used to look at on your TV set before you hooked your TV set up to your computer (refers to C64 or similar, seldom used to refer to PC's et al).
RAM: What you do to the side of your computer when it's not working properly. Also, what your wife would like to do with the car to your computer, because you're not working properly since you've had it.
RETURN: What a lot of people do with their computer after a-week-and-a-half.
TERMINAL: A place where you can catch a bus/train/plane to take you to an interstate/overseas computer meeting/convention.
WINDOW: What you heave your computer out of, after accidentally erasing your only copy of a program which took you months to write.

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